Stress – When strain exceeds recovery
Updated: Sep 26
Stress is a natural part of life. It helps us mobilize energy when we need to face a challenge, make quick decisions, or care for someone who matters to us. Without stress, we would find it difficult to adapt to change and manage what life sometimes requires of us.
At the same time, many people describe a sense of never truly being able to unwind. Their thoughts continue even after the workday is over. Their bodies remain on high alert even when there is time to rest. Sleep does not provide the recovery they long for, and it becomes more difficult to experience joy, engagement, and presence.
Stress can have many different sources
Long-term stress is not only about work or a crowded schedule. It can also develop when we live with conflict in our relationships, worry about finances, care for an ill family member, try to be everything to everyone, or carry intense self-criticism for a long time. Several different sources of strain often interact and together make it difficult for the body to recover.
Stress can also arise in response to sudden life events, such as an accident, a separation, a death, or other unexpected changes. Most people recover gradually, but sometimes the strain is so intense or prolonged that the stress system has difficulty returning to a state of rest.
In five sections, I write about what stress is, what kinds of strain can contribute to prolonged stress, and how we can understand the body’s responses when strain exceeds recovery.
What is stress?
Stress is the way the body and mind prepare us to face a challenge. When the brain assesses a situation as important, demanding, or threatening, the nervous system is activated and the body mobilizes energy. The heart beats faster, breathing quickens, muscles tense, and attention is directed toward what needs to be managed. This response has been essential to human survival and remains an important part of how we adapt to life.
In most situations, the stress response is both helpful and temporary. When the strain decreases, the body can gradually recover and the nervous system can return to a calmer state.
When stress becomes prolonged
Problems arise when the strain continues for a long time or the body is rarely given an opportunity to recover. The stress system may then remain activated even when there is no longer an immediate threat. This can manifest as sleep difficulties, impaired concentration, increased forgetfulness, stronger emotional reactions, and various physical symptoms.
Stress is therefore not a sign of weakness or an indication that something is wrong with the body. On the contrary, it reflects a system that is trying to help us manage what we are facing. But when the strain becomes too intense or continues for too long, even a well-functioning stress system needs an opportunity to recover.
A reflection
People sometimes describe stress as though their bodies have turned against them. Their hearts beat faster, their thoughts race, and they find it difficult to relax. But the body is rarely working against us. More often, it is trying to alert us that something is important and help us manage a strain that has become too great or continued for too long.
Change in therapy is therefore not only about reducing stress. It is equally important to understand what the body is responding to. When we begin to recognize the burdens we are actually carrying—in our lives, in our relationships, and within ourselves—it also becomes easier to find ways back to recovery, vitality, and the ability to act.
– Maria Sandgren
Further reading
This text draws on my clinical experience as a psychologist, together with research on emotions, relationships, well-being, and mental health. Below is a selection of books for those who would like to explore the subject further. English-language research is included in the later sections of this article.
The books listed below are in Swedish. They reflect the literature on stress with which I am most familiar; the English-language sources included in this article are primarily research studies. The books approach stress from different perspectives—from how stress affects the body and brain to how we can recognize the sources of strain in everyday life, recover, and develop more sustainable ways of living.
If your stress has become prolonged, is affecting your health, or makes it difficult to function in everyday life, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed psychologist.
Books (in Swedish)
Återhämtningsguiden: må bra trots stress och press – Niclas Almén
Ostörd – Gisela Bäcklander
Han är så bra på att ta egentid – Maria Farm
Krisstress – Giorgio Grossi och Kerstin Jedling
Att sätta gränser för sig själv och andra – Åsa Kruse
Tid att leva – Fredrik Livheim, Daniel Ek och Björn Hedensjö
Snällfällan. Att bryta med känslomässigt ätande – Lisbeth Stahre och Veronika Ryd
Den utbrända hjärnforskaren. Personliga erfarenheter, fakta och vägen till läkning – Hedvig Söderlund
What places us under strain?
When we talk about stress, the conversation often focuses on work and a fast pace of life. These can, of course, be important parts of the picture, but strain can arise from many different areas of life. To understand long-term stress, we therefore need to consider the person’s life as a whole.
Some sources of strain are external. They may include a heavy workload, financial concerns, illness, caring for young children, a separation, or other life events that demand a great deal from us over an extended period.
Other sources of strain arise within our relationships. Living with recurring conflict, carrying considerable responsibility for others, caring for an ill family member, or feeling lonely can be just as demanding as external circumstances. Relationships are among our most important sources of security and recovery, but when they are characterized by insecurity or prolonged strain, our stress system is affected as well.
When the strain comes from within
There are also sources of strain that exist primarily within us. Intense self-criticism, high expectations of our own performance, constant worry, or difficulty allowing ourselves to rest can keep the body on alert even when our surroundings have become calmer. It may also require a great deal of energy to keep difficult or overwhelming emotions at a distance.
When multiple sources of strain interact
Long-term stress is often caused not by one source of strain, but by several that interact. A demanding work situation may coincide with concern about a parent, lack of sleep, conflict in a relationship, or high expectations of oneself. When different burdens accumulate, it becomes more difficult for the body to recover before the next demand arises.
Understanding what is placing you under strain is therefore not about comparing yourself with others or deciding whether your circumstances are “difficult enough.” It is about becoming curious about which parts of your life currently require the most from you and how, taken together, they affect your body and well-being.
A reflection
Many people living with long-term stress describe trying to identify a single cause. If only work became less demanding, if only the children were older, or if only their finances improved, everything would feel different.
Sometimes this is true. But the strain often turns out to be coming from several directions at once. When we begin to see the whole picture, it also becomes easier to understand why the body is reacting as it does. It is not trying to solve a single problem—it is trying to carry a life that, for a time, has become difficult to bear.
– Maria Sandgren
Further reading
This text draws on my clinical experience as a psychologist, together with research on emotions, relationships, well-being, and mental health. Below is a selection of books and scientific articles for those who would like to explore the subject further.
The books listed below are in Swedish. They reflect the literature on stress with which I am most familiar; the English-language sources included here are primarily research articles. The books approach stress from different perspectives—from how stress affects the body and brain to how we can recognize sources of strain in everyday life, recover, and develop more sustainable ways of living.
The research articles examine how different kinds of strain affect health and well-being. They show, among other things, that stress may have many different sources, that prolonged strain is often more harmful than isolated stressful events, and that the experience of stress varies across different stages of life.
If your stress has become prolonged, is affecting your health, or makes it difficult to function in everyday life, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed psychologist.
Books (in Swedish)
Återhämtningsguiden: må bra trots stress och press – Niclas Almén
Ostörd – Gisela Bäcklander
Han är så bra på att ta egentid – Maria Farm
Krisstress – Giorgio Grossi och Kerstin Jedling
Att sätta gränser för sig själv och andra – Åsa Kruse
Tid att leva – Fredrik Livheim, Daniel Ek och Björn Hedensjö
Snällfällan. Att bryta med känslomässigt ätande – Lisbeth Stahre och Veronika Ryd
Den utbrända hjärnforskaren. Personliga erfarenheter, fakta och vägen till läkning – Hedvig Söderlund
What research shows
A study on perceived stress in early adulthood. People in early adulthood experience higher levels of stress than people at later stages of life.
A study on chronic stress and health. Chronic stress has a greater impact on health than isolated stressful events.
A study on different types of stressors that affect stress and health. Different types of stressors – sudden or prolonged, individual or societal, everyday or life-changing – and how they affect stress and health.
How does prolonged stress manifest itself?
When stress shows up in the body, thoughts, and emotions
Long-term stress can manifest in many different ways. For some people, it is felt mainly in the body through muscle tension, headaches, digestive problems, or a sense of never being able to fully relax. For others, it appears primarily as sleep difficulties, impaired memory, or problems concentrating. It may become more difficult to focus, make decisions, or maintain a clear overview of what needs to be done.
Stress also affects our emotional lives. Many people describe becoming more irritable, anxious, or low in mood. Their thoughts become more easily caught in worry, overthinking, and rumination. Others feel emotionally disconnected and find it difficult to experience joy, curiosity, or engagement. Things that once felt easy or natural may begin to require considerably more effort.
When stress begins to affect everyday life
When strain continues for a long time, the way we live often changes as well. We stop prioritizing activities that usually give us energy, spend less time with other people, or feel that we are simply trying to get through the day. The quality of our sleep is affected. At the same time, it may become more difficult to set boundaries or notice what we ourselves need. Many people continue to perform and take responsibility, but at the cost of leaving less and less room for their own recovery.
It is also common for the body to react more quickly than it did before. Situations that were previously manageable may suddenly feel overwhelming. This does not necessarily mean that the demands have increased, but that a stress system that has remained activated for a long time has become more sensitive and finds it more difficult to return to a state of rest.
Symptoms vary from person to person, but they often serve the same function. They tell us that the body has been trying to manage a burden for a long time and now needs an opportunity to recover.
A reflection
When people seek therapy, they often describe the symptoms as the problem: the fatigue, anxiety, sleep difficulties, or constant tension in the body. This is understandable, since it is the symptoms that limit their lives.
At the same time, symptoms can also be understood as the body’s way of signaling that something needs attention. They do not always tell us precisely what is wrong, but they show that something has been difficult to carry for too long. When we become curious about what the symptoms may be telling us, rather than focusing only on making them disappear, a different path toward change often opens up.
– Maria Sandgren
Further reading
This text draws on my clinical experience as a psychologist, together with research on emotions, relationships, well-being, and mental health. Below is a selection of books and scientific articles for those who would like to explore the subject further.
The books listed below are in Swedish. They reflect the literature on stress with which I am most familiar; the English-language sources included here are primarily research articles. The books approach stress from different perspectives—from how stress affects the body and brain to how we can recognize sources of strain in everyday life, recover, and develop more sustainable ways of living.
The research articles examine how long-term stress affects everyday life, sleep, relationships, and psychological well-being. They also show how relationships may be both a source of strain and an important source of recovery and good health.
If your stress has become prolonged, is affecting your health, or makes it difficult to function in everyday life, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed psychologist.
Books (in Swedish)
Återhämtningsguiden: må bra trots stress och press – Niclas Almén
Ostörd – Gisela Bäcklander
Han är så bra på att ta egentid – Maria Farm
Krisstress – Giorgio Grossi och Kerstin Jedling
Att sätta gränser för sig själv och andra – Åsa Kruse
Tid att leva – Fredrik Livheim, Daniel Ek och Björn Hedensjö
Snällfällan. Att bryta med känslomässigt ätande – Lisbeth Stahre och Veronika Ryd
Den utbrända hjärnforskaren. Personliga erfarenheter, fakta och vägen till läkning – Hedvig Söderlund
What research shows
A study on everyday stress and couple relationships. How stress in everyday life affects the relationship between partners.
A study on overthinking and sleep problems. How overthinking and rumination can accompany sleep difficulties.
A study on relationship stress and psychological well-being. How stress in close relationships can affect psychological well-being, other relationships, and health – and how positive relationships are associated with lower levels of stress and better health.
Why is rest not always enough?
When the body does not wind down
When we feel stressed, it is natural to think that the solution is more rest. Often, this is exactly what the body needs. A quiet weekend, a few days off, or a good night’s sleep can make a considerable difference when stress has been temporary.
With long-term stress, however, rest often feels insufficient. Many people describe their bodies as remaining on high alert even when they are sitting on the couch. Their thoughts continue to revolve around everything that needs to be done, or they struggle to feel restored even after an extended break.
This does not mean that rest is unimportant. Rather, it may be a sign that the nervous system has remained in a state of high alert for a long time. When strain has continued for months or years, it often takes time before the body feels safe enough to let go and return to a state of rest and recovery.
When recovery involves more than rest
The sources of strain may also remain even when the pace of life slows down. Relationships that continue to be difficult, intense self-criticism, or worries that are repeatedly activated do not automatically disappear when the calendar becomes less crowded. The body responds not only to what is happening here and now, but also to experiences it does not yet perceive as resolved or manageable.
For many people, recovery therefore involves more than rest. It may also mean gradually understanding what is placing them under strain, finding ways to set boundaries, making room for emotions that have long been held back, and giving more space to what provides energy, meaning, and connection with other people.
A reflecction
It is easy to become frustrated when rest does not provide the recovery one had hoped for. Many people begin to wonder whether something is wrong with them or whether they should simply try harder to relax.
But the body rarely follows our conscious intentions. It responds to experiences, relationships, and sources of strain that it continues to perceive as important, and it tries to protect us based on what it has learned. It is often only when we begin to understand what the body is still trying to manage that deeper recovery becomes possible.
Rest is important, but sometimes the source of strain itself also needs to become visible. When we better understand what the body is trying to carry, it becomes easier to gradually direct more of our time and energy toward what brings vitality, restores our ability to act, and allows us to move toward the life we want to live.
– Maria Sandgren
Further reading
This text draws on my clinical experience as a psychologist, together with research on emotions, relationships, well-being, and mental health. Below is a selection of books and scientific articles for those who would like to explore the subject further.
The books listed below are in Swedish. They reflect the literature on stress with which I am most familiar; the English-language sources included here are primarily research articles. The books approach stress from different perspectives—from how stress affects the body and brain to how we can recognize sources of strain in everyday life, recover, and develop more sustainable ways of living.
The research articles explore several central themes in current stress research. They examine how people can understand their stress responses, why recovery from long-term stress often requires more than rest, and how recovery is influenced by our circumstances, relationships, and ways of responding to prolonged strain.
If your stress has become prolonged, is affecting your health, or makes it difficult to function in everyday life, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed psychologist.
Books (in Swedish)
Återhämtningsguiden: må bra trots stress och press – Niclas Almén
Ostörd – Gisela Bäcklander
Han är så bra på att ta egentid – Maria Farm
Krisstress – Giorgio Grossi och Kerstin Jedling
Att sätta gränser för sig själv och andra – Åsa Kruse
Tid att leva – Fredrik Livheim, Daniel Ek och Björn Hedensjö
Snällfällan. Att bryta med känslomässigt ätande – Lisbeth Stahre och Veronika Ryd
Den utbrända hjärnforskaren. Personliga erfarenheter, fakta och vägen till läkning – Hedvig Söderlund
What research shows
A study on managing short-term stress. When stress is short-lived, understanding stress responses and using strategies that help the body recover and adapt to the demands it faces can be important.
A study on managing chronic stress. When stress is prolonged, rest alone is often not enough. Recovery may also involve changes in life circumstances, social support, and how we relate to ongoing stressors.
There is now a substantial body of research on psychological treatment for different forms of stress, ranging from temporary stress reactions to chronic stress, burnout, and trauma-related stress. Because treatment needs to be adapted both to the individual and to the type of stress involved, I have chosen instead to highlight research that examines some of the common processes that recur across different forms of treatment.
How can we regain vitality and the ability to act?
Recovering from long-term stress is rarely the result of a single change. It is often a gradual process in which we begin to understand the burdens we are carrying and find new ways of responding to them.
For some people, this means reducing external demands by changing their work situation, asking for help, or creating more room for recovery in everyday life. For others, it is more about relationships—setting boundaries, expressing their needs, or allowing themselves to receive support from other people.
Sometimes the most important change takes place within us. Becoming more aware of patterns of self-criticism, listening to the body’s signals, or making room for emotions that have long been neglected or kept at a distance can reduce the internal strain. When we no longer need to use as much energy to hold ourselves together or keep our feelings at bay, more energy also becomes available for other parts of life.
When recovery makes room for vitality
The aim is not a life without stress. Life will always include periods of considerable strain. What matters is that the body has opportunities to recover and that the strain does not become a permanent state.
For many people, the change becomes apparent only when they begin to experience joy, curiosity, and engagement again—when it becomes easier to make decisions, be present with other people, and use their energy for what feels meaningful. Vitality does not mean always feeling full of energy. It means gradually reconnecting with what makes life feel alive.
A reflection
When people seek therapy, they rarely say that they simply want to get rid of stress. More often, they long for something else. They want enough energy to be present with their children, experience joy in their work, have something left to give a friend, dare to enter a relationship, or return to something that once mattered deeply to them. What sometimes prevents them is not only a heavy external burden, but also an internal strain—the feeling of being responsible for more than one person can reasonably carry alone.
Perhaps this is where recovery becomes most meaningful. Not when stress has disappeared completely, but when it no longer occupies all our attention. It then becomes easier to turn toward the life we want to live and gradually regain the vitality and ability to act that prolonged strain so often takes from us.
– Maria Sandgren
Further reading
This text draws on my clinical experience as a psychologist, together with research on emotions, relationships, well-being, and mental health. Below is a selection of books and scientific articles for those who would like to explore the subject further.
The books listed below are in Swedish. They reflect the literature on stress with which I am most familiar; the English-language sources included here are primarily research articles. The books approach stress from different perspectives—from how stress affects the body and brain to how we can recognize sources of strain in everyday life, recover, and develop more sustainable ways of living.
The research articles highlight factors that support recovery, well-being, and good health over time. They examine the importance of relationships, the value of meaningful interests, and the living conditions that help people feel well and create sustainable lives.
If your stress has become prolonged, is affecting your health, or makes it difficult to function in everyday life, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed psychologist.
Books (in Swedish)
Återhämtningsguiden: må bra trots stress och press – Niclas Almén
Ostörd – Gisela Bäcklander
Han är så bra på att ta egentid – Maria Farm
Krisstress – Giorgio Grossi och Kerstin Jedling
Att sätta gränser för sig själv och andra – Åsa Kruse
Tid att leva – Fredrik Livheim, Daniel Ek och Björn Hedensjö
Snällfällan. Att bryta med känslomässigt ätande – Lisbeth Stahre och Veronika Ryd
Den utbrända hjärnforskaren. Personliga erfarenheter, fakta och vägen till läkning – Hedvig Söderlund
What research shows
A study on the importance of personal well-being. The quality of our relationships plays an important role in personal well-being. Research shows, among other things, that conversations with people we trust, where there is room to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences, can be valuable. This applies to both more extroverted and more introverted people.
A study on leisure activities and quality of life. Meaningful interests and activities are associated with higher quality of life, better health, and greater well-being throughout life.
A study on factors that contribute to a good quality of life. Quality of life is influenced by several interacting factors, including mental and physical health, financial security, having enough time, and feeling safe and comfortable where we live.
A study on relationships and personal well-being. Close relationships with family and friends, as well as a sense of belonging with others, are important for long-term personal well-being.
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