Therapy for relationship difficulties
Difficulties in close relationships can affect both how you feel and how you see yourself and others. In therapy, you can receive help in understanding recurring patterns, strong emotions, and what happens in relationships that are important to you.
You are welcome to contact licensed psychologist Maria Sandgren for therapy sessions in Östermalm, Stockholm, or online.
Relationship difficulties
Relationships are an important part of our lives. They can bring closeness, joy, and a sense of connection with others, but they can also be a source of conflict, loneliness, and recurring difficulties.
Many people seek therapy because the relationships in their lives are not working in the way they would like. This may involve an intimate relationship, family, friendships, or relationships at work. For some, there are recurring conflicts, while others find it difficult to become close to people or to feel understood and appreciated.
Sometimes the same patterns seem to recur in different relationships. You may adapt considerably to others and find it difficult to express your own needs, withdraw when someone comes close, or be strongly affected by criticism and rejection.
Understanding relationship difficulties
In therapy, we explore what your relationships are like today and what happens in situations that become difficult. What do you feel? How do you react? What does the other person do – and what happens next between you?
Earlier experiences can influence how we relate to other people. Experiences of closeness and care, but also of rejection, conflict, lack of care, or other difficult relationships, can shape our expectations of what will happen when we become close to someone.
Ways of protecting ourselves that were once understandable or necessary can later make it more difficult to create the closeness and mutuality we long for. In therapy, we try to understand these patterns without oversimplifying them – and explore what might become different.
When Relationship Patterns Limit Your Life
Relationship difficulties can affect both how we feel with others and how we see ourselves. Recurring conflicts, loneliness, or the sense of not being able to be yourself can, over time, contribute to self-criticism, worry, and discouragement.
For some, it becomes difficult to express what they need or set boundaries for fear that the other person will be disappointed or leave. Others maintain greater distance to protect themselves from being hurt. Sometimes conflicts arise in which both people are trying to reach one another, but the way they do so instead increases the distance between them.
When such patterns begin to shape our relationships, life can gradually become more limited. You may long for closeness but avoid it, remain in relationships that do not work, or find it difficult to show important parts of yourself when you are with others.
The aim of therapy for relationship difficulties
The aim of therapy is not to learn a single right way of being in a relationship. Instead, we try to understand what happens in your relationships and what may stand in the way of the closeness, mutuality, or independence you want.
In therapy, we can pay attention to recurring patterns and explore what happens within you when you are with others. As you gain a greater understanding of your emotions and reactions, it may also become easier to make different choices.
Change may involve being able to express what you feel and need, set boundaries, or allow yourself to become closer to someone. It may also mean being able to remain present in a relationship when something becomes difficult, without having to withdraw, adapt to the other person, or become caught in the same conflict as before. In other relationships, change may mean choosing to have less contact or to end the relationship.
What change can bring
When old relationship patterns no longer need to shape your relationships in the same way, greater freedom can emerge in how you relate to others. It may become easier to be yourself while also being close to and considerate of another person.
Change can mean greater presence and mutuality, more freedom to express emotions and needs, and an increased ability to manage conflict without losing the relationship.
It may also become easier to decide which relationships you want to invest in, which ones need to change, and sometimes which ones you need to leave.
The aim is not to have relationships without difficulties. Rather, it is to have a greater ability to create and participate in relationships where there is room for both closeness and independence – and where you can be more fully present as yourself.
Affect-focused therapy for relationship difficulties
In affect-focused therapy, we explore together what you would like help with and what happens within you in relationships that are meaningful to you. We pay attention to emotions, but also to anxiety and the ways you have developed to manage situations in which closeness, conflict, or the risk of being hurt evoke strong reactions.
Emotions are an important part of our relationships. They can provide information about how we are affected by other people, what we long for and need, and when something does not feel right. Anger, for example, can alert us to a boundary being crossed, grief to something important having been lost, and love and care to the people who matter to us.
At the same time, emotions in close relationships can evoke anxiety. It may then become difficult to express what you actually feel and need. Instead, you may become self-critical, adapt to the other person, withdraw, or try to gain control over the situation.
Understanding what happens between
Relationship difficulties rarely arise within one person alone. What we feel and do affects the other person, whose response in turn affects us. In this way, patterns can develop and continue even when neither person actually wants them to.
In therapy, we can explore these patterns and what happens to your emotions when you are relating to others. When it becomes possible to recognise and understand what is happening within you, you can also gain greater freedom in how you choose to act.
This is not about always expressing every emotion or always seeking closeness. Emotional awareness can also help us understand when we need to protect ourselves, set a boundary, or create distance.
Therapy is therefore both about understanding what makes relationships difficult and about creating greater possibilities for closeness, mutuality, and freedom to act in the relationships that matter to you.
Therap for relationship issues
I have extensive experience working with relationship difficulties and will meet you with an understanding of how these difficulties affect your particular life. Together, we explore what you would like help with and what kind of therapeutic approach may be right for you.
I see clients at my practice in Östermalm, Stockholm, and also offer online sessions.
Maria Sandgren · Licensed Psychologist · PhD in Psychology
Certified ISTDP Therapist